Gaano Kamahal ni Marcos si Imelda?

Last Friday night, nagyaya si Kuya na pumunta sa KKK Café sa Maginhawa. Magpeperform daw kasi ang Words Anonymous at may open mic. Pagdating namin sa café, sobrang dami ng tao. At dahil wala din naman kami maintindihan sa mga performances, naglakad-lakad na lang kami sa Maginhawa at kumain at nagkape somewhere else. Pero bumalik din kami dahil andun pa yung mga officemates ni Kuya. Pagbalik namin, nabawasan na ang mga tao. Nakapwesto na at nakapakinig. Karamihan ay pag-ibig ang topic, kadalasan bitter ang tone. Pero sa lahat ng napakinggan ko that night, yung Minamahal Kong Imelda, written and performed by RJ Carbonell, ang pinaka nagustuhan ko. Tungkol pa rin sa pag-ibig pero kaya ko ito nagustuhan dahil sa political commentary. Sa tulang ito malalaman niyo kung gaano kamahal ni Marcos si Imelda. Handa syang gawin ang lahat, masunod lamang ang mga nais ng kanyang sinta. Hindi ko alam kung gaano katotoo ang mga binanggit sa tula pero naririnig ko na rin dati ang karamihan sa mga nabanggit na pagkakataon.

Here is a copy of RJ Carbonell’s piece. Pero mas maganda pa rin talaga siya pag marinig niyong binibigkas niya.

Minamahal Kong Imelda
by RJ Carbonell

Nagtipon ang daan-daang libong Pilipino sa Epifanio
Upang ako’y patumbahin
Kinikilala akong malaking klepto
Nasa Forbes ako bilang isa sa pinakakurakot na pinuno
Nasa historya ako bilang walang-pakisamang repressive
Pinatahimik ko ang Channel 2 ng isa’t-kalahating dekada
Kinamumuhian ako ng Mga Nagkakaisang Bansa
Sa paggulpi at pagkuryente, ako daw ay vindictive
Pero may isang kasalanan pa kung saan ako’y naakusahan
Mel, inibig kita ng nakamamatay na labis
Literal na nakamamatay
Literal na libu-libong katao lang naman.

Nung una kitang nakilala, niyaya kitang magpakasal
Nagtaka ka kung pa’no yun naging posible
Sinabi ko na simula pagkabata, meron na kong pinangarap na babae
Parati ko itong inuukit sa papel na makapal
May mga dumaang babae, at sa guhit, ‘di sila tumugma
At nung dumating ka, perpekto kang umakma
Kaya Rosas ng Tacloban, nung natanaw kita sa Kongreso nung 1953
Hindi yun pag-ibig sa unang pagkikita
Dahil inibig na kita buong buhay ko
At dahil malapit na ring mag-eleksyon nun.

Alam mo, aking aserong paru-paro
Para kang yung dineklara kong Batas Militar ng 1972
Pinapatahimik mo ang naguguluhan kong puso
Parang Bataan Nuclear Power Plant ang pag-ibig kong wagas
Delikado, pero tama lang na ipagpatuloy
Parang 12am curfew ang maalindog mong katawan
Napapauwi ako ng maaga kapag gabi
Para kang Desaparecidos!
Sa pagkadesperado sayo, naglaho ang aking espiritu’t pagkataong makasarili!
Para kang pagpatay ng walang paglilitis!
Nadamay ang pagkainosente ko sa panay mong pagsaksak sakin.

OA na masyado yung pick-up ko.
Ayos lang, ganun ka rin naman manghingi ng pera’t luho.

Lahat para sayo aking binigay.
Talo mo pa si Queen Elizabeth II.
Nangangati ang paa mo, inday?
Eto, gintong sapatos
Tinanggihan ka ng pinakasikat na banda sa buong mundo?
Kuyugin natin yang mga yan sa airport ng magkagalos.
Naiinsecure ka na ‘di ka napapansin ng media?
Unang pahina bukas, “Imelda, nanguna sa pinakamagandang babae survey.”
May nang-away sayong kumareng asawa ng may-ari ng kumpanya?
Wala ng lupa yan bukas.

Lahat para sayo, aking ginawa
Kasi alam kong lumaki ka sa garahe
Habang ika’y naiinggit sa mga kinakapatid mong maririwasa
Lumikha ako ng bogus na kahariang konseho
Nagtirik ako ng isang palsipikadong bundok
Kung saan ikaw ang madayang reyna ng estado
Niyari ko para sayo lahat ng kadiyablohang despotismo
Habang ang sarap-sarap ng buhay mo
Pagod na pagod na ko sayong koleksyon ng credit card na swapang at walang modo
Pero syempre ‘di ikaw yung tinutukoy ko.

O aking rosas, mukha kang ginto.
Bukambibig, bukang-isip mo, ginto, ginto, ginto
Kumikinang na ginto.
May nadiskubre lang minahan sa Baguio
Umalingawgngaw sa tenga mo, “Ching ching ginto”.
‘Di pwedeng gamitin yung figurative na termino.
Dahil isa kang literal na gold-digger.

Isa kang diplomatikong social climber
Buwisit na buwisit yung estadong sangay ng Amerika
Isa ka daw puslit na gatecrasher
‘Di ka naman inimbita sa pakain ni Carter sa White House
Bigla ka na lang sumipot.
Nakakasuya sa rehimeng powerhouse
Napagkamalan ka ni Ginang Carter na kung sino lang isang beses
Na tinanong niya sa asawa ang nakakahiyang usisang
“Why’s the Asian woman not cleaning up the mess?”

Naalala mo yung Manila Film Center na iyong pinagawa
Pinayagan ko yun.
Sapagkat magiliw ka sa sining
Kaya lang minadali mo yung sistema
Yung deadline, ang strikto
Natibag yung scaffolding
Nahulog yung 169 katao sa semento
Dun na sila nalibing kamo.
Sinugo ko yung manta ng security
‘Di muna ko nagpapasok ng mga magsasagip
Kinabukasan, ‘di nabalita sa radyo, dyaryo, o telebisyon.
Balita: “Imelda, bumili ng bagong painting na realist.”

Nakapirmi lang ng isang dekada ang imperyo
Kaya lang biglang napatay yung dilaw na nakamalaking salamin
Ikaw ba may pakulo?
Maniwala ka, gusto ko na rin siyang ligpitin
Pero napakabobong galaw
Nakatutok ang buong mundo, satin
Nung tumulo na sa rampa yung dugo sa kanyang bungo
Tinakwil na tayo ng mga bansa
Ang mga kapitalista, lumayo
Naubusan tayo ng pondo
‘Di ka na pwede magsun-bathing sa Jamaica
Kung saan ikaw lang tao sa dagat ng isang linggo

‘Di kita sinisisi, sinta.
Pwede kasing si Fabian, si Cojuangco, o ikaw.
‘Di ko sinabing tanga ka
Wag ka umalis
Dito ka lang.
Wag mo ko iwan, sa nipis.
Alam kong mas lalo kong nangangayat, pumangit
Dahil sa transplant
Upo ka lang dito sa tabi ng kama, lapit
Baka ‘di ko na kayanin bukas
Nananakit na baga ko

Ganto, Mely
May kapit pa ko sa Kanong senador
Kuha tayo ng pantulong na salapi
Alam mo, may liposuction daw na tinatawag
Pang-alis taba
Mahal, pero makakaya natin ‘pag nakaluwag
‘Di ka na maaasar na taba ng mga Cojuangco.
Basta dito ka lang
Wag ka aalis dito.

Wag kang mag-alala
Magiging reyna ka ulit
Kaya lang matagal-tagal
Malakas pa si Junior sa masa
Tinangkilik siyang gobernador
At mabilis makalimot ang tao
Kongreso muna siya
Ta’s senador
Ta’s ‘pag kampante na, bise-presidente ng administrasyon
‘Pag sinuwerte, presidente
Wag ka lang sanang malagay sa Department of Finance

Kasi kung marating niya muli ang pinakamataas na posisyon sa ating lupa
May isa akong pakiusap, Mel.
“Puta ng diktador, maawa ka.
Wag ka ng makisawsaw sa kanyang pamamahala”.

I Do Not Love You

Pablo Neruda had me at Tonight, I Can Write (the Saddest Lines). I consider it as one of my all time favorite literary pieces. Reading it is like seeing my thoughts put into words (and immortalized) by a great poet. I even studied basic Portuguese so I can appreciate Neruda’s poems untranslated.

Tonight, as I browse through my Facebook newsfeed, I saw a post by one of my favorite theater actors: an excerpt from another Neruda composition, Sonnet XVII (commonly known as I Do Not Love You). It instantly became a favorite, too. These are my favorite lines:

image

An excerpt from Pablo Neruda's Sonnet XVII

I’m starting to think that Pablo Neruda stole my present thoughts (and feelings) when he wrote these lines years ago. Haha! :p

Kandila (2011)

Ikaw ang dilim
Na hudyat ng aking pagningas.
Ngunit kasabay ng pagliwanag ko’y ang init
Na sa aki’y unti-unting umaagnas…

Ang tula kong ito ay nailathala sa Gunita, ang literary folio ng Portia Sorority para sa taong 2015. Maaari niyong makita online ang tulang ito (kasama ang iba pang piling mga larawan, tula at maikling kwento na isinubmit) sa online version ng Gunita.

Panakip-butas (2005)

Tanghaling tapat pa lamang
At mainit ang sikat ng araw
Ngunit ako’y giniginaw na
Sa lamig ng iyong pakikitungo.

Dahan-dahang naglalapit
Ang ating mga matang magkatitig
Habang unti-unting naglalayo
Ang ating mga damdamin.
Ibinubuka mo pa lamang ang iyong bibig
Upang magpaliwanag
Ay naririnig ko na
Ang iyong mga kasinungalingan.

Lumuluha akong pinalayas ka sa aking harapan
Habang ika’y tila natutuwa pa sa paglabas sa pintuan.

Pumikit na lamang ako
At nagpatuloy sa pag-iyak
Kasabay ng pagmulat ko
Sa katotohanang
Ako’y panakip-butas lamang…

my 2014 book challenge

finished 25 books this year! medyo mabagal pa din ako magbasa.. or kaunting oras lang ang nadedevote ko sa pagbabasa. sana sa 2015 mameet ko yung goal kong 30 books. may suggestion ba kayo kung anong magandang basahin? 🙂

  1. Les Miserables – Victor Hugo
  2. Wicked – Gregory Maguire
  3. In Sisterhood – Lea at Lualhati – Lualhati Bautista
  4. At Risk – Patricia Cornwell
  5. Can You Keep a Secret? – Sophie Kinsella
  6. Rizal Without the Overcoat – Ambeth R. Ocampo
  7. The Picture of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde
  8. A Thousand Splendid Suns – Khaled Hosseini
  9. The World’s Greatest Proposals: 75 Stories of Love, Creativity and Spontaneity – Fred Cuellar
  10. A Storm of Swords – George R. R. Martin
  11. The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
  12. The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More – Roald Dahl
  13. Griffin and Sabine – Nick Bantock
  14. Skin and Other Stories – Roald Dahl
  15. The Fault in Our Stars – John Green
  16. Last Order sa Penguin – Chris Martinez
  17. Welcome to Dead House (Goosebumps #1) – R. L. Stine
  18. The Winner Stands Alone – Paulo Coelho
  19. The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
  20. The Book of Lost Things – John Connolly
  21. Ermita – F. Sionil Jose
  22. Wagas and Other Tales, Talks, and Takes on Love – Bernardo N. Caslib, Jr. and Liway Czarina S. Ruizo (editors)
  23. Dead Stars – Paz Marquez Benitez
  24. Little Indulgences: More than 400 Ways to be Good to Yourself – Cynthia MacGregor
  25. The Arabian Nights: Tales from a Thousand and One Nights  – Anonymous

my 2013 book challenge

noong 2012, i challenged myself to read at least 1 book per month. lfor 2013 naman, 1.5 books per month or at least 18 books within the year. nagawa ko naman ang challenge, though may mga sobrang manipis lang. bawi din naman siguro sa mga sobrang makapal. haha! yung Les Miserables hindi ko natapos. sa 2014, 2 books per month na dapat! kaya ko kaya!?! maraming salamat sa mga nagpahiram (Ma’am Lorie, Meme, Daisy, Romeo & Daniella), nagbigay (Ma’am Lillian, Meme), nagbenta (Ate Ceejay) ng mga books at sa mga nagsend ng ebooks (Chuckie, Wik, Carlo).

1. Lovestruck (Singles Edition) – Ronald Molmissa

2. The Phantom of the Opera – Gaston Leroux

3. Knit One, Kill Two – Maggie Sefton

4. The Filipino Heroes League: Sticks and Stones – Paolo Fabregas

5. The Best American Mystery Stories – Joyce Carol Oates (editor)

6. Fifty Shades Freed – E. L. James

7. The Giving Tree – Shel Silverstein

8. The More the Manyer! Pinoy Cliches and Other Words of Wisdumb – Elbert Or

9. Without Further Adieu: More Pinoy Cliches and Other Words of Wisdumb – Elbert Or

10. I Am Herewith Enclose and Other Bad-for-Business Pinoy Cliches – Elbert Or

11. Everything’s Eventual: 14 Dark Tales – Stephen King

12. Lucky Accident – Fay Ramsay

13. Gabriel’s Inferno – Sylvain Reynard

14. The Hobbit – J. R. R. Tolkien

15. Dolores Claiborne – Stephen King

16. The Missing Piece – Shel Silversten

17. A Game of Thrones – George R. R. Martin

18. Gerald’s Game – Stephen King

19. Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas – Bob Ong

20. To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee

21. A Clash of Kings – George R. R. Martin

Leave Zach Alone by Javierose Ramirez

Dear Lisa,

Back off. Get your hands off Zach.

Sure he walks you home every day and he is always around you but being around is different from wanting to be with you. I will admit, he might enjoy your company but enjoying someone’s company is different from someone making you happy. Talking with you does not always mean that he wants to get to know you.

Wake up, you have been daydreaming far too long now.

You are probably one of those girls. You imagine a boy coming into your life and he will sweep you off your feet and you will finally understand that thing called love. You have dreamed and prepared for this – like some Disney princess fixing her castle, you want every detail perfect so that when your knight in shining armour comes, the picture will be complete and it would feel amazing. It’s like a beautiful painting, waiting to be complete so that when it finally is, the world will marvel at it. Everyone will envy you for you have someone who will take care of you, someone you can always rely on. Dream on. If your name is not Cinderella or you are not friends with seven dwarfs who took care of you when you went to the woods, better stay out of the fairytales.

He is not your knight in shining armour.

Look around, do you see dragons? Yeah, you live in a planet called Earth where your fairy godmother stopped existing when you were seven. Give up the fairytales. In those stories, you can hardly remember the name of the prince, and they are always called knights in shining armour, ever wondered why? Because there, it does not really matter who the person is as long as he plays the role. You made this pictire of you with someone and at the time you made it, that someone is faceless. You kept it in your treasure box, waiting, hoping and praying that the guy beside you in the picture will be give a face. The danger in what you did Lisa is that anyone could be the face of the guy beside you and it wouldn’t make any differnce. Anyone would do.

You don’t deserve him.

You don’t deserve an empty armour just waiting to have an occupant. You don’t deserve someone whose main qualification is that he is available and willing to play the role. You don’t hire the first person that signs up, Lisa. You deserve someone who will define the role. It’s not fair to him you are in love with the idea of having a partner and not with him. There’s a big difference between the two, Lisa. If you are in love withh the idea, with the role, anyone is good enough. It’s not fair to you, too. You owe it to yourself to choose someone that is deserving of your love. The person you are with tells more about yourself than anything else. If love is the greatest thing you could offer to someone, the person to whom you will offer it to will definitely tell a lot about who you are. If this is the most valuable thing that you have, give it to someone worth valuing. The ones you value reflect how you value yourself; don’t stop down Lisa for you will lose something more than your heart when you do, your self-respect. Stop thinking that you should lower your standards so you could be with someone, that ain’t right Lisa. If you will keep on lowering your standards, someday you will lose it and you won’t even notice. And on that day you will have becpme the worst that you could be – a mediocre.

It’s not him, it’s you.

The world will always have Zachs and the blame is on the people who think that someone better does not exist and they lower their standards to become Zachs. If you do this now, Lisa, if you settle for someone who just happened to be there, you will be a Zach, and at the very moment you decided to give up on your standards, you have become deserving of a Zach because you have become one of them.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Javierose is someone fortunate enough to know how to love and be loved – the way she understands it. If someday she finds that everything she knows about love is wrong, the bliss that it has given her would still be well worth it. And because she is in love, she hopes to be forgiven for mentioning this here: thank you, CL.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

from Wagas (and other tales, talks and takes on love.), pp. 57-59, eds: Bernardo N. Castillo, Jr. and Liway Czarina S. Ruizo

an excerpt from Hedgehog’s Dilemma by Franz Bangalan

– Sometimes I think we walk with these spikes on our back, like hedgehogs. We never let them down, even if we get close to another person. Can you imagine the kind of pain it would take for two hedgehogs to embrace? Or can you imagine what drive the two to embrace in the first place?

She only stands there for a long time, moving no muscle, speaking no word. An eternity passes by. Months. Years. Seasons. Forever goes by. No one blinks. The next move could be fatal.

1 Book Per Month (2012)

nung new year, meron akong resolution na starting this year (2012) dapat makatapos akong magbasa ng at least 1 book every month. or pwede na ding at least 12 books in a year.

as of 26 December 2012, nakatapos ako ng 14 books! sobrang random lang ng book selection. walang pinipiling genre. salamat sa lahat ng nagbigay (SSS, Chuckie, Abi, Ate Mitch) at nagpahiram (Jasper, Sir Ian, Ma’am Lillian, Carlo) ng books/ebooks! next year ulit! 🙂

1. Love in the Time of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

2. Si Amapola sa 65 na Kabanata – Ricky Lee

3. Lumayo Ka Nga sa Akin – Bob Ong

4. Haunted Summer – Hope Dahle Jordan

5. Fifty Shades of Grey – E. L. James

6. One Day – David Nicholls

7. Kapitan Sino – Bob Ong

8. MacArthur – Bob Ong

9. A Night Without Armor – Jewel Kilcher

10. Stainless Longganisa – Bob Ong

11. Bakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo? (at iba pang technique kung paano makaka-move on sa wasak na puso) – Ramon Bautista

12. The Best of Chico, Delamar, and Gino’s The Morning Rush Top 10 (Book 2) – Chico Garcia, Delamar Arias and Gino Quillamor

13. Fifty Shades Darker – E. L. James

14. Para Kay B (o kung paano dinevastate ng pag-ibig ang 4 out of 5 sa atin) – Ricky Lee